This post is part of the Wellbeing Wonders Linky that I’m hosting with Emma from Sunshine and Rain. It’s a fab way to connect with other bloggers and reach new readers. So, if you’re a blogger, check out the info at the end of the post to find out how you can join in and add your own posts. And if you’re not, check out the links at the end of this post for more great welbeing-related content!
Today, I want to talk about my relationship with food. I have been on one diet or another since I was 18. That’s 16 years. Almost half of my life has been spent dieting and I’m still overweight. In fact, I’m more overweight than I was when I started. Granted, I’ve had two babies since then, but my “babies” are 2.5 years old now, so I don’t think I can’t use them as an excuse anymore.
Me vs Food
Over the years, food has become my best friend and my greatest enemy. I eat when I’m happy, or to congratulate/reward myself when something good has happened. I eat when I’m sad, or to make myself feel better when something bad has happened.
When I try to make healthy choices, it feels like a tug of war – me vs all the yummy food I actually want to eat. Except, I don’t really want to win, so I don’t put up too much of a fight.
My relationship with food
I’m aware that I have a really terrible relationship with food. I read something once about how you should eat to live, not live to eat. Personally, I think a healthy relationship with food is somewhere in the middle, but I definitely fall in the “live to eat” camp.
I plan my day based around what meals I’m going to eat. I start thinking about food early in the day and and it features pretty heavily from then on.
The problem, of course, is that having food on my mind all the time makes it really hard to diet. I start off with the best of intentions, but then it starts to feel a break up… and you remember what I said about eating when I’m sad.
I have tried every diet you could think of…
Slimming World, Weight Watchers, Cambridge, Exante, low carb, low calorie, low fat, high fat, high protein, a handful of terrible fad diets… They all work. I just don’t stick to them for long enough to prove it.
At the beginning of this year, I promised myself that this would be the year that I lost weight and kept it off. But it’s nearly October and neither of those things have happened. I even thought that blogging about my weight loss would force me to stick to it… and you all know how that went!
Food and mental health
After a fairly healthy 2017, I’ve struggled with my mental health this year. And I’ve turned to food to fix it, even though I know it doesn’t help long term. It’s not like chocolate is laced with antidressants or anxiety meds. But you would think it was, the way I’ve been self-medicating with it.
Food is definitely a comfort to me when I’m feeling low. And it’s a distraction when I’m feeling anxious. But I know it doesn’t help long term, because I just start feeling down about my weight and the whole cycle starts again.
So I need to decide what I’m going to do to fix this awful relationship with food. I don’t know what that’s going to be yet. When you’ve tried every diet going and failed at all of them…. what’s next?
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I think a big part of it (for both of us after talking about it) is being able to recognise the difference between going to find something to eat because you’re hungry, and looking for something because your emotions are all over and you think you need to eat but you don’t. I’m definitely looking for healthy foods that still taste amazing and are easy. When I’m at my lowest I’m lazy and I want the best tasting stuff, so that’s where the issues are!
You’ll figure out a way that works for you, the important thing is that you’re actively looking 🙂 #WellbeingWonders
I am definitely an emotional eater ? I’m.sure we’ll both figure it out!
I wish I knew the answer too Becca. I actually thought it would be easier once I stopped working and was less stressed. Do you have any friends that you can cajole into going to a slimming club? It’s always better if there are a couple of you for some healthy competition!
I thought about going to slimming world with my mum, but I always get bored and end up quitting. I’m going to try Cambridge again to lose some weight before Christmas x
I think finding healthy, but still tasty recipes has definitely helped me! I’m still figuring it out, but by swapping some sweets/crisps etc for healthier things like fruit and yogurt, or having porridge instead of cereal (most of the time!) definitely makes me feel a bit healthier.
Good luck in your journey, you can do it! Small steps over time lead to results 🙂
Good luck to you, too!! xx
It sounds frustrating, but it also sounds like you are figuring out what works and doesn’t work. Looks like for now you found a lot of ways that don’t. Important data for moving forward!
I have been trying to lose weight by moving more and eating less but it is slooooooow going but some day I’ll reach my goal weight. Or not 🙂
Keep working on being healthy and on finding weight loss ways which work for you!
Thank you ? x
Becca, my latest post is about what motivates me with SW (I’ll join in the linky again). While I was losing weight I found that having ‘free’ food in the fridge to snack on helped – it still does. My best friend was doing WW at the same time and I found texting her with my weight loss/gain certainly helped keep me on track with the plan and Jo’s idea of a slimming club sounds like a good one. I also think you have to be in the right frame of mind to do anything like this. I didn’t stop smoking until the 5th or 6th attempt when I’d altered my mindset. After that I found it a lot easier to keep going. Good luck to you 😉
Thank you! Your post is great ? I do think a lot of it comes down to motivation. X
I have a terrible relationship with food. There are certain foods that I love, but I can’t trust myself with them. So I try really hard to stay healthy and eat food that doesn’t make me feel bad. Chocolate is one of my first loves though. I try to cook healthy, tasty meals, but some days I just feel like a good plate of pasta with heaps of cheese. This is making me hungry now 😀
You’re making me hungry too ?
A very insightful and well writtten piece. You have touched on a subject a lot of women have a problem with. I am currently trying to eat smaller portions and exercise more. You can do this! You k ow whcan ch diets don’t work for you.
You are an awesome blogger, and very talented. ?I love your writing. ??xxx
Thank you!that’s so sweet of you to say xx
With some of the patients I work with using mantras to raise your consciousness of what you’re about to eat or even while you’re eating it can be really helpful. How often have people got two thirds of the way through a giant chocolate bar or ice cream tub without really being fully aware of it or even tasting it properly? A simple statement like “is what I’m about to eat going to help me achieve my goal?” repeated a few times in your mind has been really effective in terms of avoiding unnecessary eating altogether or at least stopping a binge before it gets too far and generally helps people make better choices. Pair that with an activity that was different to what you were doing before you decided to eat to stimulate your brain in a different way and it’s a nice little one-two punch of CBT and OT that seems to work for a lot of people.
Always so helpful, Mr Becca ? x
I can truly relate to you – I’m 58 and still saying to myself that this is the year I will lose weight. Even the prospect of my recent cruise holiday didn’t work. I am a real foodie and live to eat. I even have created a second blog mainly about food reviews! I’ve joined your linky and my latest post is about my recent health check, the results of this really show that my lifestyle is beginning to impact on my health. Now is the time I really need to take some positive action but I’ve yet to fully decide what that is yet!
It’s so hard to make real changes, isn’t it! I’m sure you’ll figure out what to do ?