Parents all over the UK have discovered that working at home isn’t as much fun as they thought it would be. At least, not at the same time as schools being closed.
I’m not really working FROM home
I work at home all the time, so it’s a bit different to working from home, doing a job that would usually be done in an office. But I’ve discovered that my wonderful job that was “so easy to fit around the twins” isn’t so easy to fit around the twins when they’re home all the time.
For the first time, I’m experiencing Working Parent Guilt. Which is an interesting change from the Non-Working Parent Guilt I’m used to feeling.
Being a single mum means that being a stay at home mum turned into being a very poor mum. So I’ve worked really hard to increase my income over the last 9 months or so. My little part-time jobs suddenly became less part-time. And that was actually working really well… when the twins were at preschool 2.5 days a week.
Trying to work and look after kids is really hard!
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but looking after kids is a full-time job all on its own. So what all us working parents are actually doing now, is trying to do two jobs at once without screwing either of them up.
I’m lucky, because the twins are only 4 and haven’t started school yet (roll on September), so I don’t really have to worry about homeschooling. We’ve been doing some prep work for school, but not lots and I don’t have to worry about homework or set hours or anything like that. I honestly don’t know how I would manage to get anything done if I had to homeschool on top of everything else.
I’m very grateful to still have an income
I know that lots of people are struggling to pay their bills right now. I’ve been very lucky because most of my work is online and I’ve actually managed to increase my income a little bit during lockdown. Not by much, but I’m slowly reducing how much I rely on Universal Credit, so I feel very lucky.
But increasing my income means increasing my workload and I’m finding that very difficult now that the twins are here all the time.
The twins don’t like me working – they’d rather play. I would rather play, too, but obviously I can’t always do that. To a certain extent, I can pick my own hours, but I do have deadlines. So choosing to play instead of work during the day often means sitting up until midnight to get my work done. And then I’m exhausted in the morning and don’t want to work or play!
Working from home is the best decision I ever made
I really struggled with my mental health when I was working in an office. After over a decade working in Customer Service, my anxiety suddenly made it very difficult for me to deal with customers. Things like answering the phone became impossible. I didn’t even really want to leave my house.
Working from home means that I don’t have to do any of that stuff. My work with The 1:1 Diet does involve dealing with clients/customers and speaking to people on the phone, but I have much more control over it than I did when I wasn’t self-employed.
I love that I get to set my own hours and basically control my own income. I do have it a lot easier than parents who are having to work their normal hours while homeschooling and keeping kids happy. I’m very aware of that. But it’s still not easy.
Routine is really helpful
Finally, now that lockdown is nearly over, I’ve realised that trying to do everything without a routine just doesn’t work.
To begin with, I was just going with the flow and trying to get everything done as and when I could. I was focused on my children. They were confused about why they couldn’t go to preschool or see their friends and family, or go to the park etc etc. But the twins didn’t understand why I could play with them one morning, but not the next.
Now, I try to get up and do my work in the morning, so that the afternoon is less stressful. I have a bit of a schedule for my work – an hour doing this, and hour doing that. I try to stay flexible, because the routine doesn’t always go to plan. But it definitely works better than not having a routine at all.
Explaining things to children is better than just expecting them to understand
The twins know that Mummy needs to work to earn money to buy them things. That’s obviously a very simplified explanation, but it’s one they seem to understand.
To begin with, I was just saying “I can’t, I have to work”. Four year olds don’t care about work. They’re very self-serving little creatures. Their response was always “just don’t do your work” until I explained that if I don’t work, I don’t get paid and then I can’t buy those awful Ryan’s World Toys they keep nagging me for. Suddenly, they became much better at entertaining themselves, at least for short periods of time.
Accept help whenever it’s offered
This week, Muscles finished work early on Monday. He invited us all round so that he could play with the twins while I got some work done. I felt bad saying yes and nearly turned him down. He’d been working all morning and probably needed to rest. But the twins were so much happier being the centre of someone’s attention and I got much more done than I would have done at home. I’m very lucky that he’s so good with them and that he’s so helpful and supportive.
If someone offers to help you, don’t turn them down trying to be polite. Accept the help.
I’m still finding working from home with the kids here really hard
It’s going to be a really long Summer. I’ve gone from dreading them starting school to wishing it was September already. But, like all parents, all I can do is my best. It won’t be forever. When the twins do start school, I can go back to sitting on my sofa and working at my own pace all day. Until then, I just have to try to get as much done as I can. A few late nights probably won’t kill me.
